Ever notice that Hollywood loves to play with our childhood? Everything from Transformers to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is getting a gritty and realistic remake. (That's right: there have been almost four movies about realistic talking robots from space. Michael Bay everyone.) GI Joe. Alice in Wonderland. Batman. All victims to the gritty reboot. I think that the magnificence of the Christopher Nolan trilogy and the fact that the Batman comics read like a Game of Thrones novel has made us forget that Batman started with some fairly campy and family friendly origins. Remember, the Joker used to just be a clown.
It kinda makes me think where Hollywood will go next. What sections of our childhood have remained untouched by screenwriters? Here are some ideas of what gritty and realistic movies based off of things from out younger days that should in production right now.
This summer: five have been summoned. Fueled by a burning curiosity and driven by a need for adventure, this small collection of people have answered the call of a strange creature as it towers above them, promising wonders beyond the imagination. Will they follow the leader? Will they sing to his tune? Or will they realize that everything they believe is just a figment made by years of idle television and substance abuse? From the creators of Shutter Island comes this summer's newest psychological thriller: Barney and Friends.
Every year, there comes a movie that asks you: what lengths will a man go for love? Will he overcome many dangerous obstacles? Does he have the skills to hammer his opponents and the speed to reach the top? Will he have the strength to finally defeat his beast? With the life of the love of his life on the line, one man will have to push himself to his limit and hope his quest isn't just a pipe dream. Coming to theaters next month: Donkey Kong.
Alex Forbes is not having a good day. His wife is missing, his daughter has been kidnapped, his son has just been revealed to Soviet double agent, his mom has just wrecked her minivan, his dad just discovered bike shorts, and, you know what, he stubbed his toe on the coffee table this morning. He's pissed off, he's out for blood, and ready to make the people responsible pay dearly. Alex is sick and tired and he is ready for a bit of revenge. This Halloween, Liam Neeson is Alex Forbes in Alexander and Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.
The only way to survive in the world is to be the biggest, fastest, strongest, and fiercest. Every day is race to be the eater and not the eaten. In order to survive in this brave new world, a group of friends will have to team up into to make it through the day. However, the sun will soon set on this land and our heroes will be history. This summer, travel back to a time when the only thing you don't have is enough time. It's The Land Before Time. Time.
Thanks for reading everyone!
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